


Brofist-ing

by blueleaffiction



Category: Borderlands
Genre: Anal Fisting, Bromance, Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-30
Updated: 2015-12-30
Packaged: 2018-05-10 07:51:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5577299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueleaffiction/pseuds/blueleaffiction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rhys and Vaugn get it on after a dare gets rauchy and poor HolloJack is forced to watch. Bro. </p><p>Â̭̩̅͋́͛ͫ͌g̉ͧ̏̿̀h͉̬̖̬̼͕̹͟ ̷̦̩̀̊ͯͩ̂ͦ̚w̫͗̇̽ͩ͗ͫ̄h̑̆̂͑͐͏̜͔͇a͍̼̭͖̰͑̎̍ͤ̿ͬt̰̞̖͊̑ͯ͆ͥ̚̚͡ ̰̑͞t̴̰̫͕̝̮h̝͕͑͛̍̓̍̐ͥe͇̪̰͓͉̔͋̚ͅ ͪ̑҉f͈ͭ͋͑ȗ̦̆͐͟c̵̠̼̜̲͚͛̔k̵̔͐͗̇?ͯ͑҉̬͈!̦ͯ̈́͐ͮ̉̌͂ ̵̹̬̪͊͒ͨ̇̇͑ͬĠ͕̉̓͗ͬ͊̀R͎̬̠̉̂̀O͔̮̦̝͖ͮS̢̪̥̞͇͓̙̪͗̉̄̆̿̊̓S̜͆̈́͑̓̄͑!̦ͭͫ</p><p>(crack-smutt)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Brofist-ing

**Author's Note:**

> ~WARNING THIS IS BADLY WRITTEN AS A JOKE LIGHT CRACK! ~

"Bro that was awesome! I can't belive you just went straight up to that bandit and looted his sex toy stash! it was hi-larious~" Vaughn hollered as his cybernetic friend returned to his side. "Yeah what the hell is a bandit doing with a load of dildos rope and condoms anyway? Pretty weird right?" Rhys replied with a diconcered smile, still shaken and unsure of what exactly he had done to both his ego and safety. "Do you think that's even safe for me to touch these things? I mean they could have anything they are from a bandit camp".  
  
"Sure they are! I mean it's not like you plan to use them- you don't plan to use them do you Rhys?" Vaughn looked at his bro worried. The intention had been that Rhys collected the rumoured toys from the bandit camp as a dare, since the two had some spare time but the line of questioning Rhys was going down concerned Vaughn slightly. "No way in hell!" The cyborg replied trying to laugh the now awkward conversation off "HaHa very funny! What kind of guy do you think I am Vaughn?!".  
"Well there was that video back on Helios that was of you-" Rhys immediately interrupted Vaughn before he coud finish the sentence "Dont! Dont bring that up ever agin! You promised! After I removed it from the system you swore you'd never bring it up!". "Alright! Relax bro its okay I'm sorry bro I brought it up" Vaughn began to calm his friend knowing he had overstepped his boundaries.  
  
The video in mention was taken by an anonymous man and was of a sensitive subject for Rhys as it had captured him in a moment he thought to be private; as he jerked off in the mens bathroom to a motivational poster of the since deceased Handsome Jack using "a sexual item" intended for the female fanbase of the tyrants establishment created using a perfect replica silicone cast he brought for only $1599.99. The video was of course all captured whilst the camera culprit snorted holding back his laughs as he filmed from a hidden location out of sight. It was huge humiliation for the company man but thanks to his friends he was able to deal with the issue after only a few dozen hits of the video online.  
  
"So now what bro?" Vaughn asked. "Well I did your stupid dare and got away with my life so now its my turn for payback" Rhys smirked he knew exactly what he would make Vaughn do.  
  
...  
  
The two men walked back into the makeshift base they called home the dare had yet to be announced but Rhys had instructed they both go back to base before he would tell the shorter man what he was to do. Rhys sat down out of breath from their journey his echo eye flickering as the ever-persistant hologram of Jack attempted to come back to vision. "So Bro? What was it you wanted to dare me to do? Because daring me to make you food doesn't really count it does have to be somewhat challenging you know?" Rhys smiles looking up at Vaughn straight in the eyes threateningly. "I dare you Vaughn to fist yourself"

  
"͚̦Ö́͂̃̚͞h̡̙̫̖̗̝͗͑͑̄ͫ͑̄h̟̐ ̨͇̬̰̱͓͔̭̏̓R̩̺̞̭͖ͬ̆̈́̾̅́h̎̓ͯ̒͡y̙͇̥̯̩͛̎͟s̞̳͈͉͙͒̉ͬ̀ỳ̙̪̤̼!̬͍͇̮̗̎͊̉̚ ̙͖͍̲͙̾ͫͤ̿Y̳̻͉̝̋̒̉̏ͣ̎͢o̢̤̬̐̐̐͆ͯǔ̡̖̍ ̟̦̹̮r̒̓͒҉̪e̛̘͚̯͎̟̫̘̽a̳͓ͭͨ͞ͅl̨̗͉̞͌̓̇̋ş͓͔̆̌̽ͤͣi̯̮͇̱ė̛̗̹̼̋ ̰̩͖̳͙ͪ͟tͨ̈̂͗̚͘h̉̂͏̹̲a̶̜ͨ̑̈́t̯̘̭̹͕̓s̘͑̓́ͪ͝ ̧̝͙̻̲̓̒̈g̦͍̞͎̭̟̟ͫ̎r̸̭̥̖͍̤̒̆̃o̽͋͋͂̉ṣ̛̝̲͔̥͎̺s̴̝̝̪̹̻̗̺ͨ ̞̘͔͍͙̟͎̈́̎r͉̫͇͕̥̪̰̚iͮͯ́g̹̟̗̬̘ͦͅh̝̤̙̼̭̱ͫͭ̉͆̽͘ͅt̞͍̠͓͎̭̟̽?̟͇͍̫͌ ̥͓͎̹̯̯ͭ̉ͥ́͆͒ͣI̱̹̰̟̜͋ͧͫf͍̥̜̺̖͔ͨͪ̈ͫ ͟h̷̼̘̞̮͗͒̇̋̒e͖͔̣ͨͬ͋ ̱͙ä̫̙͚̜̘͍̍ͣͧ̀ͅc̢͓͔̬̋̉ṫ̰̯̻̬̲͈̤̅͌̿̔̕u͇̞ͥͨ͐̊̋̚a͈̼̲̐͒̇̅̉͐̍l̞̼͖̎̑̔͌̽̾l͑͋ͤ̌̈́̒҉̖̝̪̩͇ͅy̽͡ ̪̥̭̯͔̌ͣͬ̌͐͆ͅd̟̤̳̼̣ͫ̓ͮ̏͜ͅo̷̱̪̲ͩ̈̌̄̈̌ͭȅ͎͉̏̎̉ͦͫ̾s̹̣͍̦̑͗̍̾̌̌̽ ̷̰̻̻̈́̒̚t̙͓̞̼̬̊̄͗̎̅ͥh͖̾ͣ̃ͦat̘ͫ̌̑̓̓ͨ̍́ ̫̜̦̺̪ͥ̇͆̉̆i̒͏̙̠̩ṫ̸̝̻̬̗̓́s̮͋̓̀͌̅̏ ̹̪̍͗g̨͔̟͓ͧͦ̀ͫo͎͕̺̣͊̓̾ͯņ̰̭͚͓͈̩͌̎̈́͂ͧn̏ͥ̓ͨ̅â̷̳͙̝̣͔͖̫ ̦͙͖̥ͥ̃ͫ̈́b̢̄̀ͦe̴͉͑̋͂̒̇ͩͨ ̗͗̍h͍̟̄́̋͗̀e̙̙͓̫̫̬̳̎l̮̘̖̈́͋͌̔ͅl̞͎̂̀͟a͔̤̟̗̘̖̥ͥ̏ ̧͚̟̫͇̒ͥ̎͊̚a̲̰͕̣̯̹ͦ̏ķ̟̳͕̝͈ͣ̒̓͑w̦̦̝̏ͬ̔̅̄a͎͙͇͒ͦ͛̈́̆̌͛r͉͕̠̖̘͐͐̈́ͩd̉ͭͪ̊ͣ̌ͤ҉ ̅̀̅͊͏̜̩͎ͅa̡̲̟͚̍̀͆ͫn̻̤͎͎̜̲͇̍͂̑ͮ͛d ̺̘̺͍d̨͔̩̮ͤ̇̎̿̂́i̠͓͔̰̙ͫ͑͌sͨ̒̏̃ͨcú̯̮͍̖̭͍ș̢̻̰͆t̢̩͈̬̱̯̙ͤ̍̂̓ī͚͙͕̉̈́ñ̉̄ͯ͞g̓͒̄ͭ́͡ ̟̫͘ͅa̞͇͉̳͔̩̤͂͊͌͗̽̀n̪̤̯̺͍̈ͬ̈́̊d́͋̒̓̐͏͕̘͙͓͈̞ ̸̺̩̩̤̌̿͗ͩI̶̺̗̓͌͑͆ ͇̬̯͎̝ͧm̋͆̾ͭ̋e̡͕̬̰̰͇ͭ̏̑ͅȧͭ͆ͬ͝n̖̘̠͕̺͓ͯ̌̄͟ ͍͇̫̪̩̠̳ͩ̓͂́͑̍y̜̾̏ͭ̀͒̈́o͉͈͔͑ͦͤu̳̲̖̅͗̆ͫ̊̍̕r҉̠̞̞̙͈͔ ̦̬̘̼̖͙͍n͙̘͖͖̠̉͂̇̓͝o͚ͭ̇t̴̼͎̬̩̩̋ ̻̺̜̺̝͆̉̈̉͐͛t͍̞͕͎͇̖̹h͋̅͒̓a͌͋̎ͣ̋ͧ͛t̢̍ͪ̄ͧ̀ ͓͙̞̦ͦ̃̋͗̉ͣk̻͇̮̮͖͕ͧ̽͟í̧͍͕̥̱̮̐̔̒̿ņ̲͒ͧͩd̻̝̻͎͓̤͑̎ ̘̩o͎͙͎̤̾ͩ͛ͬ̂͒f̮̪͓̘̠͎͐̍ ͇̩̣̰g̥̻̩̑ͥ̓u̧̱̲̺̾͗̅̑͂y̼̗͈͋̀ ̡r̵͚͔̟͈ͬ͂i̸̲̦͖̤̤̦̠ͯ̓ͧ̽g̺͔̣̠̩̝͒̍h̵̹͈̫̗ͩ̏͛̾t͍̠̟͇̆ͯͦ͂͆͑̽͞ ̴͓̠̦͌͋̑ͨk͚̞̰̱̓̃͐ͥͪͯi̤̟̕d͋̅͐̍ͤ̔̇d̛͓̺͎̗͖͔̤̅͆ͣͭơ͍̎ͮ͌͌?͚͈̘̜̭͎̺̂ͣ̀ͬ̈́"͇̼͎̤̖̃̃̓̽ͅ

Jack stood behind Vaughn staring back at Rhys in total unaproval as he made his way online. Vaughn frowned unable to see Handsome Jack but curios as to if Rhys was serious or suffering from heatstroke. "Umm Rhys did you just dare me to fist myself or am I hearing things?". At this point Rhys could barely hear his friend over the hysterical laughter of the holomaniac but he want about to give up if Jack didn't want to see it he could leave. Rhys wanted to know if Vaughn would go the whole way and make their bromance _**so much more.**_  
  
"Go on unless your backing out which means I win" He ordered Vaughn calmly despite nothing about his insides being calm. His heart beat hard and his palms began to sweat as he awaited his bros reply. "Fine but I'm gonna need something to lube up with" I'm not that accustomed to a lot of girth Bro. Vaughn went over to the makeshift bed of a mattress lying on top of several empty loot crates and began to undress.

"̢W͙̗̾̿̊̑̚a̘͎̱̐̄͡iͮ̋ͤt̨̝̋ͫͨͧ̍̈́̑.̵̳̟̞̳͍ ͈͕̩͉́̓͠W͉̩͕̮̍̚͟h̗͚͍͙̤͔ȁt͉̹̰̳̯̩̟͠?̞̻̏̃!̙͚͖̯͉̐̃̔̑̑ͩ ̷̱̭̜N̦͌̐̑ͯ͌̏ỏ̤̝̼͈̲ͩ̇̀̇̚͡ ̶̘̗̙̪̔̌̏w̜̠̫͔͎̏͜ͅͅa̜̩͐ͤ̂͠ẏ͓͔̺͎̎ͨ̚ ̫ͅh̵͈̦̆ͯê͔͖̹͚ͧ̉͒ͯ̍͝s͈̹̳͍̙̬͚̓ ̺̖̥͍ͨͤaͫ̐͆҉͉̤ç͔ͅt͙̻̫̮̼ͦ̐͑ͯͦ̚͞ṷ̷̠̜̜̼̍͑̆̍a̧̿ͯͣ̾l̥͇̞̺͉̇ͤ̈͑͋ͤͧ̕l̂͂̂y̶͚̹ ̛̼͓̦̫ͅd̬̦͍̬̰̖͠o̟̱̖͙̙͆̈́̆̑͑̍͋i̦͖̘̱͒̊ͤͥ͌n͍̤̞͓̝̼̑ͪ͘g̴̞̠̼͆ͫͫͩ͗ͬ̎ ̈́̆ͫ̒̎͆ͪ̀i̷̼̳̗͍͕̥t?̲͍ͧ!̡̟͔̐ͬͨͨ"̛̭͉̩̥̲ͪͤ̽̓ Jack flickered moving to Rhys side "̞̦̼͉͍̲̐ͧ̔T͎̹h̿̉̿̽͏̘͔̹͍ͅi͉̖̪͑̍ͨ̇͘ŝͦ҉͇ ̡̬̭̦̬͂Í̸͈̟̱̉͑s͖̈̃̄ ̼͉̫͉͋͗̂̌ͤͧ̈́ḁ͎̲͆ͦ̋́͠ͅ ̲ͮ̅͌̑͋j̲̘ͣ̈́ͮ̉͐o͇͙̞̝͈̙̎̾͝k͓̤̝̙̹͋̒ͩ͆ͮ͒e͎̺̫̿̈́ͥͬ̀͛̀ͅ ̲̗ͅr̹̔͛̔̆̚͠ḭ͚͐g̱͎̒̏ͤ̋ͭh͐t̥̠̊͆̊ͬ?̳̱̥̝̊̂̒͒ͣ̂̀ ͍̤̂͐̉͋̅͒C͂̽̋̉͏̗͈̤̣̯̮ͅǫ̭̈́̅ͦ͛̅ḿ̈̋͊̆̔̔m͙̓̔ͭ̿̚ö̹͎̭̭͟n̝̪̪̳̥̟̝ͮ̍͐ ͚̫ͩ́͂ͅṚ̵͈͕̩̙͖̉̌h̎ͫͩͧ̈ͪ̾y̥ͩ͐̀s̰̮̩͍̘͌͟i̡̼̖͎̣ͦͮ̎͂͂̽̔ͅe͇̫̥͈̼̳͒̄ ̯͇̯͎̳ͤͩt͢ͅe̦̮͙̰̥͖l̫͙̙ͥ͑͑̔ͧ͐̚l͚̣̗͈̘̈́̉̌́ ̸͇̬̮͕ͩ̾ͦ̽̉̀h̹͚̖̿̊̂͑̄̒̀͘í̜͔̩̼̣m͇̝̪̙̣͉ͯ͛̾̏ͯ ̵͉͖̉̔͛̄͛̂ͥt͕͓̙̺̬̂o̧̻̦͔͓̚ ̅͒̒s̎t̼̬̞͕͔̝͐ͪ̍̑ͯ͋͌ͅo̜̦̞̳̣͓̽̈́̈́̇̈́̆ͤp̫̖̣̋ͬ͆̔ ̗͕̣ͤIͩ̆̌͆ ̲̘̫̦͎̌̽ͅd̜̠̂̿̐o͉ͨ̔̐ͬn̶͋̓̑̒ͨͣt̤̭̺̱̩̂̾͛̐ͪ̽͛ ̆͗ͭw͇̪̫̰͐͋̃ͅa̶̺̹͛̉̾̿̋n͂ͪ̎͜n͙̦̍͊͒͗̉ͣ̀a̼͡ ͬ̂͞s͍̩̭̤ͪ̾ͥ͞ͅe͉͈͓̫̲͂ȩ͇̉ͩ ̠͎̣̣̩t͚̗̮͍͊̒̊ͦh̵̞i̩̱̞̦̟͕͌̇sͧ҉̯̬̥̮̖̞̘ ̡͋͆̅ͮs̜͎̗̓̆̊̂ͮ̽̀h̠̤̥̘̟̤͚̆͌ͣ͒͞i̸̲͔t̟̦̟͕̦͇̟͛͂͛ͩ͟!̪̬͖͈̖͗̊͒̐͆͆̏"̪͎͇̖̘̟̣ͥ̈́̾͂ͣ̇͂

"Well Jack. I do so deal with it or leave" Rhys muttered under his breath not wanting to draw any attention to himself.  
  
Vaughn lay mostly naked on the bed preferring to keep his glasses and socks in place not wanting to lose them for comfort reasons, he looks over at Rhys who stood at the wrong angle to see anything "Hey Rhys? I have a small bottle of Petroleum Jelly in the cupboard grab it for me and I'll see if I can fit everything" Rhys threw Vaughn the bottle quickly trying his hardest to ignore Jacks complaints as he moved into a better position to see his best friend fist himself. "Here bro I hope this helps" "Thanks Bro". Vaughn coated his first two fingers tentatively as he opened his legs to expose his ass he began to slowly push his first two fingers into himself taking his time not to cause injury to his delicate place.  
  
Rhys watched becoming painfully aware of his arousal at the show he was being given as Vaughn spread his entrance more with every jolted thrust of his index and middle finger, the air still tense and for Rhys full of complains and curses from the disgusted Jack. "Hey Vaughn add another finger already if were too slow someone might find us, you know what this planets like" Rhys felt the pressure of time and the pressure of his belt buckle against his hard dick he wanted the dare to be done with and to take Vaughn before trouble showed up and they were both too dead to fist.  
  
Vaughn groaned adding another finger to please his bro, he was only three fingers in and he was already struggling under the pressure not to cum so soon. "S-shit Rhys you're not making this easy on me bro" Biting back his sounds Vaughn twisted his three fingers inside him trying to relax enough to take the rest of his hand into his ass. "It doesn't feel like it will fit much more"  
"I've seen you take so much more Vaughn your almost there" Rhys encouraged "That was my mouth and I was h-hungry for that burger more than you can imagine b-bro" Vaughn jested relaxing slightly as he pumped the final finger and thumb into his ass feeling spread as the Grand Canyon.

 

"͉͖͍͈̓̈̏̌H̛̙̹͓̱͓̅͌͛û͍̄g̦̦̭͉̼̜̰̍ͪͤ̆̚h̼̹͕̆ͩ͐̓ͥͩ̀!̓̿̓҉͈̮̤̱̠͇ ͕̱ͣ̔̊̄̐ͣ̐͟H̡̯̗͊̄̆ư͖̭̘̄͐͋̆̄͂g͈̤̯͙̞̽̋́͝h͎̮̺̗͙̟̤̉ͩ̀͢!̮̤̲̮̰̱̲ͥͧ̇ ̘͖̇̔̀I̮̯̤͚̘͛̿͌̽ͨͭͅm̵̳̲͛͂̈́ ̙͈̭͕͔͓͂̃͋t̤̗̙͙̍ͫ̂̔̆r̢͖̙̫̝̘̽̅y̲̜̰̾i̤ͫͬ̔͞ͅǹ̸͍ͫͧͬͥͪg̯̪͉̣͐̐̐̇͢ ̛̖̘͙̞̭̼̫͋n̖̣̱͕̘̹otͥ҉̠̟ ̟͔̜̣͚̎̂t͒͂ͨ̀͒o̥̣͓̞̐̑̒͑ͯͩ́ ̖̠̥̙̜̞͐ͯͤ͆̽ḣ̺̠̩ͬ̾̾͊ͅu̙͔̻͗ͬ̉̐̏̚r̟̮̮̼̟ͨ̊̀̂ļ͔̮̏̓͐ ͛͑̇h̲̤̣͋̀e̗̮̘͛ͦ͞r̘͙͎̺̣̪̲̾͋̔ͭ̋̔̔́e̮̜ͧ̓̓͋ͧ͞ͅ ̲͖͖̟ͩ̿̈̅k̅ȉ̼̭̮̥̲̗̱ͭͫ̄̆̂d͉͓̣̙ͨ͊d͍̦̱̻͚͈̝͐̓̽ͦ̕o̶̪͉͇͓̤̭̔ͮͥ ̯͋̎ͮ͘g̦̺̋̇̎̚ē̖̙̘̙̗̙͚ͮͥ͊̎̋ͫt̖͖ͩͯ͒̒̅̆ ̹͝m͈̩͚͍̦ē̡̺͕͗ ̳͊t̸͍̖̫͂͆ͫ̌ͬȟ͟e̤̹̥͈͆͐ͭ̃̆ ̢̦͔̠̀͑̓ͪ͛̾f̽̍̓̏̕ų̘̪̭̼̹̖̏̑͊̃̌̏̚c̖̟͇͎̖̥̥̊̏ͤ̔̏̀k̨̻̤͈̿̍̒ͧͯͅ ̭͑̍̄̈̆̓͘o̞͈ͨ̈́ͨ̀ͦ͐̚ú̼̝̺ ̢͕̺͕̰̠̠̉ͅo̺̠͓͇̍f̛͉̙̤̎̃̄ ̮̝̥̮̼̻̽̽̋̈́̏h͔̖͋͒̓ͣ͋e̳͓͉͜r̆̒͌̊̏͛́e̢̗̫̯̠͈̰ͅ ̊̏ͩ̀́ͣ̚͢y̭̫͎͇͉̠̦͗ͦ̋́ͯ̾͛ơ͕̬̆͂̏̂ͩͩu̶̺͋̊̄ ͔̼̳̹̙̼̫l̸̳̭̳̣͓̮̏ͦͅĭ̱̝̳̰t̡͙͕̞̰̟̪ͮt̸͗ͫ̈́͒͆l̺̙͇͉̬̅ͤ̽͂ͫ̋̀e̵̼̝̝͕̻ ̪ͭͬ̉͌͂̄̆͝s̴͚̲̩̗̼̤̼h̯̖̩͈̗ͮͅi͌́ͦͭ͂ͥͥ͡t̺̟̦̗̎"̦͕̤̽ͩ̈̀̐

Rhys watched as the half hard Vaughn led back slowly curling his fingers inside himself pushing his fist in further as he began to fist himself moaning."Ah bro! Bro this is intense bro! Your dick will feel tiny now bro ah"

'SHIT' Rhys thought to himself he really hadn't through this through. And in that horrid realisation he observed as Vaughn's fist completed a job Rhys could hardly compete with and his best bro came onto the tattered mattress whilst his hero puked pixels somewhere in the background.

_Pandora was a nightmare._

**Author's Note:**

> god save my soul


End file.
